Taking over Haiti.

FML today.  I want to move somewhere.  Somehwere far away from drama and close to a beach.  I have officially decided to move to Haiti.  My mom had the idea first, said she was going to leave us all and go the Haiti.  When it got hot she realized she wouldn’t be able to handle it there and has replaced her dream world with Alaska.  Well guess what, she can have the Alaskan pipeline and I am taking over Haiti.  Lets back track just a little to my recent convo with D’s Thoughts.  Me: Ask me how long its been since I showered.  D’s Thought:  I don’t even want to know.  Me:  Good, because I have no idea when it was.  D’s thought:  That’s pretty disgusting I am so glad I am not in the car with you right now.  Me:  I am getting ready for Haiti, want to come?  D’s thought:  yes I will sell my house and come with you to Haiti.  For that price I am probably buy my presidency.  Haiti is the poorest country in the Americas, so naturally the cost of 2 houses in Center City will buy Presidency and VP-ency there) Me:  That’s a great idea.  You can be Prez and I will be VP.  We decide to ask Justin (Bieber) to be Secretary of State.  D knows more about JB than even I do.  He goes on the justify that Biebs has fans in the US and in Mexico, is from Canada, hence he should totally be on our cabinet.  Gretadomas wants to be Treasurer but I think we may make her in charge of Homeland Security.

Ok so Haiti is hot and near the beach and we are taking over (aka becoming their government.)  So this plan is pretty much perfect.  First order of business, find out the National Bird of Haiti.  Here are some pictures.  I will call them Fred and Ted.  Second order, make it a law, not a rule that you can not date anyone with the same name as you.  Then, change the national plant to the cannibis sativa plant.  Next, Water fountains or vending machines on every corner, because people are going to get hot and dehydrated.  Bottled water cannot cost over 5 cents each because we all know its only water people!  We’ll get Brita filters.  Maybe they will even donate them.  Sure, why not.  Cell phone reception might be a problem, so we are going to set up a very classy system of tin cans for us all to communicate.  Speaking of communicate it looks like we have to learn French....

At amusement parks they have those little mister things that keep people cool.  We will have them filled with sunscreen so us whities don’t get burnt to a crisp.  And then my life will get better.  So my questions are… how long does it take to get to Haiti?  Do they want promo models at our inaugeration? (that’s a given).  How will they feel about me inviting Beyonce and Gaga to do a public show when I get there.  A welcome show if you will.  Did anyone else notice they have Videophone and Telephone as hit songs right now?  I don’t know how the Haitians will feel about this singing about technology.  Hopefully they get used to it because I am really looking forward to this adventure.

beyonce ft.lady gaga-video phone-yeni | izlesene.com

Lady GaGa - Telephone ft Beyonce

10 Happy Thoughts.

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. 

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. 

God must love stupid people; He made so many.

Bitter Musings and Mockeries

Here are some great ideas for (Anti) Valentine’s Day.  At least in my opinion.  Which is the one the matters most.

1. Toilet noise blocker.  I don’t think this makes a lot of sense but I like it anyway.  “…makes the noise of a toilet flushing to hide the other noises you might be making. Press the button twice and the sound of flushing lasts for 25 seconds. This little device means you won't have to flush for real and thus saves water.”

2. Say Something Dirty To 45 Friends, Lovers And Mailmen by Brook Lundy & Duncan Mitchell.  This pretty much speaks for itself.  And its awesome.

3. Bittersweets®. I will never look at Candy hearts the same way again.  And I love them.  But these make me laugh.  Bahahahahaha… another great idea.

Definitely geared at the bitter and distraught…  “For most, there is no crueler day of the calendar year than that of Valentine's Day. While a tiny fraction of the population can look forward to a holiday of wine and roses, poetry and song, the vast majority of us can anticipate a day of nausea and grimacing, trauma and grief. A day in which minutes seem like hours, and hours like days, as we reflect sorrowfully on yesteryear's romantic indignities, today's loneliness, and the unknowable but certain heartbreak that will be visited upon us repeatedly in the years to come.”

"Unlike other candy hearts, ours are stamped with bitter musings and mockeries perfectly suited to the dejected spirits of those who will spend the holiday alone, or wishing they were."

You can shoose your own collection, I like dejected or dysfunctional.

"Dejected" sayings include:

I MISS MY EX* PEAKED AT 17* TABLE FOR 1*

I CRY ON Q* U C MY BLOG? * A FINE WHINE*

MOMMY ISSUES * DIGNITY FREE * DORK MAGNET * PURE NAUSEA

WE HAD PLANS* SETTLE 4LESS* I'M HOT INSIDE

"Dysfunctional" sayings include:

I BEEN CREEPIN *P.S. I LUV ME * DO MY DISHES* BOOTY INFL8N

PAROLE IS UP! *AWFUL INLAWS * I WANT HALF*

NO FIX 4 DUMB* RATHER DRINK * MUTUAL DISGUST

Available in six different flavors, including: Banana Chalk, Grape Dust, Nappy-Citric, You-Call-This-Lime?, Pink Sand and Fossilized Antacid.

4. These underwear: 

5. Beer gloss.  “The Valentine’s Day gift that makes her happy, and makes you happy too.”

Funniest singles event I have seen yet:  Sleep-Mate date Night.  

Held at Ikea and sponsored by a bunch of liquor companies (go figure) and encourages singles to meet up in bed and try out mattresses.  So disgusting, but so funny.

 Bats and caves.  xox, US

5 Things We like today:

**Headbands

Yes headbands.  And I really like the ones here at Ban.do.   

Dudes at bars like them too.  True story.  Always good to carry one in your purse in case you need a costume change at some point in the night.  The ones listed are made by two girls who are stylists from LA, and one is named Jamie!  Love this quote from them: “ jen thinks she is funnier than jamie, but jamie disagrees.”  Hmmm. Sounds familiar, no??

**Alice in Wonderland AND ***Urban Outfitters

There is the amazingness that is this book and these illustrations.  Best.  Thing.  Ever.  Welcome to my dream world.  Check out the video here.

And speaking of Alice…did you ever watch the made for tv version from 1985? It was a 2 night special.. Anywho, you should check it out.....it ROCKS :) There are clips on youtube just search Alice in Wonderland 1985 and they will come up...  creeps my out slightly how slow it moves… but also makes me LOL!! 

Another UO contest and one that we Bats entered but did not win…. Wahhhh…. But the pics that did win are pretty cool so check them out here.

**  Taking boy stuff and making it girl stuff

This is such a cool idea!!!  And so creative J  The basic premise is that you send her a shirt of a boy (one you love or one you hate, really doesn’t matter!!) And she makes it into a scarf, pin or messenger bag.  Super cute results, and you can keep him around forever, or just remember you made something good come from him (and then forget him).

http://www.girlyfied.com/

** Emotions Can Be Dangerous

Sh*t don’t I know that.  Dangerous, painful and effin’ hard and miserable.  The real statement here is in the pieces!  This is my #1 favorite item right now. I wear it all the times,  usually even to sleep.  Made by a local artist, Sharif, I saw it on Daily Candy and swore it was made for me. Might because it reminds me of my 2 besties in other parts of the country.  Maybe its because it reminds me of La Roux “ My heart melts just like plastic….”  Maybe it’s the shattered dream of my “bag o’ weapons” necklace. Whatever it is, it makes me happy and I want more. Look out for lots more stuff we like from this guy…. I mean really perfect right? Hearts and guns and cold hard shiny plastic… what’s not to L.O.V.E?

I want this… and this….

Check out all of it here.

I'm a Lush.

One of my favorite people works at Lush and has turned a bunch of us on to some really cool products that I find myself talking about all the time… So here’s a ton of info (probably more than you need to know) about some cool stuff… it’s broken down by category for easy reading.  Check out the guy’s section for V-Day ideas (or anti-V-Day)…. Bats’ notes are in Blue…

All about Lush…

         Lush carries an array of bath and shower products. They have everything you could possibly need from head to toe (including hair care and skin care.) Everything is hand made (and have these really cool little labels that tell you who made in and when.  So if anything is wrong you can go after them with a vengeance J) and contains natural and fresh ingredients.....everything is vegetarian. There are also many vegan products, which means they do not contain any animal byproducts. What makes some of the items not vegan and just vegetarian you ask? Well, some of our products contain ingredients such as honey and many vegans consider that to be an animal byproduct.

             At Lush, we are animal LOVERS. Therefore, none of our products are tested on animals.  Anything we do get from animals such as honey is sourced ethically; we have very high standards for our suppliers and keep a close watch to ensure no animals are harmed or mistreated.  If we believe a supplier is unethical, we stop using them even if that means a product has to stop being made. We donate to many charities and even have a body lotion called "Charity Pot," all of the lids have different charities on them and when you purchase a pot, 100% of the proceeds go to the charity on the lid.

            Besides sourcing our ingredients ethically, we also believe in saving the environment.  All of our black pots are made from 100% recycled plastic, and we recycle them for you if you bring them back into our stores. Also, all of our bags are made from recycled paper.

What are your favorite Lush products?

1) Ocean Salt (face & body scrub) - this is by far my number one; I have oily skin and use this every day on my face. It has fine and course ocean salt that exfoliates, avocado and coconut that add moisture, lime that brightens the skin, and rice vodka which acts as an astringent. You can use it on your whole body! It tastes salty in a good way.  Like you were just at the beach.  It makes you feel like you are washing away the dirty, in whatever regard that may be. Sea salt scrub is so addicting, I crave this stuff.  Like for real, I am like oh I can’t wait to wash my face today.  The large ones are $32 and the small ones are $19.  Get the big one, trust me.  This stuff is gonna make you feel better, and look better.  I swear.

2) Dream Cream - fabulous body moisturizer! Very gentle, really good for everyone, even those with super sensitive skin. Helps with eczema. It has oat milk and chamomile flower in it. A little goes a very long way and it makes my skin really soft!

3) Buffy - god bless Buffy! You use this in the shower; it is a body butter with a shea and cocoa butter base. It has ground almonds, ground aduki beans, and rice in it, which exfoliate your skin. While you exfoliate, it leaves behind the shea and cocoa butter so when you get out of the shower, you already have some moisturizer on!  Be careful with this stuff, it works awesome but don’t scrub too hard, luckily Lush Lady had warned me about this before I used it.  Margarita was not so lucky, she was sitting next to me at the bar and looked like a cat had attacked her.  But I use this the day before I spray tan (with ocean salt right before) and it really makes me feel like my tan holds well.  It also makes your bathroom smell awesome.  And I don’t have a ton of time to moisturize so it’s a time saver too.

What kind of baby/kid stuff do they have?

- I have many customers with younger children who have used Lush on them since birth...but I’m no child expert and certainly wouldn't claim to be!! These are two that I would recommend and I know parents have used from a very young age...

1) Ickle baby angel & devil - this is a bath bomb (fizz). It is very soothing for kids, it has chamomile, sandalwood, and lavender in it. You drop it in the water, and it fizzes out.  It is great for before bedtime, as it will put your kids to sleep!

(Ickle Baby Devil & Angel)

2) Honey I Washed The Kids soap - this is an amazing body soap...one of the top sellers! IT IS AWESOME! My Dad is in love with the stuff, and I send it to him in large amounts. It has honey, aloe, bergamot (natural antidepressant), and sweet orange oil in it. It is creamy and moisturizing and it smells so good you will want to eat it! Honey is also an anti-fungal so it really makes you clean!

3) Dream Cream body moisturizer – super gentle, made by Lush founder for his son who had eczema (see my top 3).

Kids love all the bath bombs, and the bubble bars (our solid bubble bath). All of them are safe for children. Since our products are so natural and fresh, they are safe for all ages. 

On a side note, but related, we carry a great massage bar called "Therapy" for expecting mothers. A massage bar basically is a moisturizer in the solid form...they all have a shea and cocoa butter base. As you rub them on your body, your body heat releases the ingredients onto the skin. "Therapy" helps to reduce stretch marks as well as any scars. It is 100% organic and has lavender, and neroli in it along with some other ingredients.

(Therapy) *Guilty Pleasure as described by Lush* :)

What’s the best product to get for a guy?

- Shave The Planet Gift ($29.95)  - includes Shave the Planet shave cream, Bamboo soap, Cosmetic Lad facial moisturizer, Business Time Massage Bar. There is also a 15% off coupon inside that can be used on your next purchase….these coupons can only be found in the wrapped gifts! There are 4 different shaving creams guys can choose from based on their stubble – Shave The Planet, Razorantium, Prince, and Ambrosia.

- Freeze Shower Gel – the is my husbands personal all time favorite….the only problem is that it is a Retro item which means it is only available online! He requests it all the time to the point I order him two 500ml bottles every time he starts to run low! But it really is fabulous!! It is a really cooling shower gel and I must admit, I love it too!

- Also, Happy Hippy shower gel is another guy favorite as well as one of my husbands favorites…it is very citrusy. It has pink grapefruit, lemons, and limes. I also love it…so it is good for both men and women. Citrus helps take off dead skin cells and brighten the skin tone. You can also use it as a shampoo (makes hair shine)…so great for travel, you only need to bring one bottle and you can wash your hair and body with it! It is available in stores.

Retro Products: can only be found online!! They are products that have been discontinued but brought back by popular demand!

-I love Freeze Shower Gel and Sonic Death Monkey Shower Gel (my husband uses both)

-Ginger Lotion is AMAZING!  My husband loves the smell of it on me but he wouldn’t use it himself.

-Go to www.lush.com for retro info

Enzymiotic cream- when I use it my face smells kind of lotiony and kind of chocalate-ly in a good way. It covers well with makeup so I use it in the morning.

Sympathy for the skin- this winter has been brutal on my skin and for some reason, ever since I had the babe, my skin has been super dry.  Also it’s probably because after 2 days of no heat I have been pumping it to assure that I make up for those 2 days… I use this at night and it really helps my skin feel less dry.

Tea tree toner- its cool and refreshing…It has tea tree in it which is an antibacterial, so it helps prevent and cure break outs. It is also in our spot treatment called "Grease Lightning" which will zap your zit in no time flat...my hubs is in love with it as am I! Toner sets a base for your moisturizer. Your skin is like a sponge and when it is wet, it absorbs everything it comes into contact with. So, when you apply toner followed by moisturizer, your face is able to absorb all the moisturizer and get the most out of it. It also means you have to use less moisturizer at a time and therefore, your moisturizer last longer too! It also helps to tone and brighten the skin as it has juniper berry and grapefruit in it. It is really good for normal to oily skin. The reason your face doesn't feel tight afterward is because there is no alcohol in it, alcohol is really harsh and not good for the skin, and it is very drying.

All skincare regimes should include a cleanser, toner, and moisturizer. I have found if I feel greasy towards the end of the day and don't have time to wash my face and reapply my make up I can spritz my toner on over my make up and I feel less oily in no time!

Are there any tricks you should know?

-Bring in 5 empty and clean black pots to a lush store and you get a FREE fresh facemask!

-Buy 2 massage bars and get 1 free tin to store it in

-Buy 2 solid shampoos and get 1 free tin

 (Seanik Solid Shampoo) (Godiva Solid Shampoo)

-Buy 2 body butters (ex. Buffy) and get 1 free tin

-Sign up at your local store for the lush list email and catalog….you only get one email a month with what is going on in your local store. We have a lot of really really great promotions and events where you can get fab goody bags! The catalog is great and comes out once every season…has all the products in it. You can check off what you want and bring it to the store to make shopping easier!

-Always remember to ask for a sample when you check out if they don’t give you one…if they don’t have any…ask for one of something that interests you. It is a great way to try out a moisturizer, shampoo, conditioner, etc. They have sample pots that they can fill for you with any liquid.

-Ask for the hand treatment….it lets you try all of my 3 favorites (ocean salt, Buffy, dream cream) as well as the famous lemony flutter cuticle butter I mentioned below!! Your hands will feel amazing!

Anything else?

I could go on and on and on about Lush, it is truly a great company and one I am proud to work for.  The products are amazing and work wonders. The hair care and skin care lines are my favorite parts of the store along with the shower gels! I’m not really a bath taker. If you go to your local Lush, they will give you a consultation and recommend products based on your hair and skin types…don’t be afraid to ask! If the person is stupid, ask me and I will be happy to help you or anyone out! (Email us and we’ll pass it along… or post as comment)  our store is ranked #1 in the country for our customer service; we really pride ourselves on our product knowledge.

            Going to a Lush for the first time can be very intimidating…and overwhelming as everything is so different! Look online before you visit and write down a few things you would like to see (do not write down retro products)! It will help you to have a direction…when I first went to a Lush 4 years ago; I started with skin care because I was having problems. Once I got my skin care taken care of, I moved to hair care and from there to well, everything! Also, if you don’t know how something works, ask….we demo everything in the store for you!   Also, you can look on youtube.com and look up Lush product demos…we have videos on there!  While some items may be priced a little high, a little goes a LONG way with all of our products so they will last you! I used Lush for a few years before I worked there and EVEN IF I DIDN’T WORK AT LUSH, I WOULD STILL USE LUSH PRODUCTS!

HAPPY THOUGHTS




1. There are at least two people in this world 
that you would die for. 




2. At least 15 people in this world 
love you in some way. 

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you 
is because they want to 
be just like you. 


(duh)

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, 
even if they don't 
like you. 




5. Every night, 
SOMEONE thinks about you 
before they go to sleep. 


6. You mean the world to someone. 




7. You are special and unique. 




8. Someone that you don' t even know exists loves you. 




9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, 
something good comes from it. 




10. When you think the world 
has turned its back on you 
take another look. 


 

IT CAN'T ALL BE HEARTS AND STARS

I don’t mean to post something so morbid, but a friend of mine passed along a very powerful article that puts a few things in perspective.  I was going to edit it down for length but I didn’t want to miss sending any of the message….. No matter how bad things get or how bad we feel, someone else is going to feel worse without us.  My favorite Blogess has a more humorous take on the situation if you need a pick-me-up when done reading this...

1999
My twin brother was diagnosed with a serious clinical depression in the fall of 98. I didn’t realize the seriousness at first and I thought it would pass. But it didn’t. It got worse. Sometimes when we spoke on the phone he was angry, bitter and discouraging. I felt totally rejected. Other times he was warm and sweet like always. We talked about suicide. I told him that the one thing I was afraid of was that he would take his own life. I told him how afraid I was of losing him. The months passed. He had critical phases when he had to stay at his big brother’s house. He just couldn’t be alone. The crisis passed and he moved back home. He was divorced and lived alone. Mom and dad stayed with him during Christmas 98. He had lost weight and looked ill. January and February passed. We were approaching our 40th birthday. I had asked him to come to the city I lived in to celebrate. He said he would. But a week before he called and told me he wasn't coming. I said it was alright. But I got an uneasy feeling. I called him a few days later and asked him: could I please come and stay with him on our birthday so that we could be together? His reaction was total rejection. He was angry and hostile and our very last conversation ended like that. 

Mom: "I have an ominous feeling"
We were worried and ill at ease. He didn't answer the phone, he didn't answer the door. Finally the police and medical staff forced their way into his house. My older brother was at the hospital waiting for news. I called his cell phone. Someone answered, I didn't recognize the voice. The woman said: "We have found him, I'm sorry". In a split second our family went to pieces.

Our 40th birthday
It was the day before our 40th birthday and my twin brother had committed suicide. He had hung himself. The whole thing was like a nightmare, only I never woke up. On the morning I turned 40 I was on a train on my way to my parents house. The funeral agent came to our house just after I got home. We made arrangements for the funeral. My parents were devastated. I had to be the strong one.

A frozen heart
The viewing was the hardest part. To see my beautiful brother lying there, lifeless. They hadn't covered up the rope marks properly. I stroked his face and he was cold. He looked as if he was asleep. Something in me froze that day. My parents were completely devastated. My mother wasn't even able to pick up the phone. I thought she was going to die; she was withering away - literally. There were so many practical things to take care of. On the day of the funeral I didn't shed a tear. My head was filled with a white, cold silence. I remember thinking; Tore, forgive me, I can't cry for you today - I have to be strong, I can't lose control, there are all these things to take care of. There weren't many tears in the months that came. My life as I had known it had come to a brutal halt, but everyday life hadn't. I had to cope the best I could, I didn't dare open up to the grief, and I was afraid it would consume me completely, that I would break down and not be able to continue. I froze.

Best friends
Tore and I grew up together. He was my best friend. We were always referred to as the Twins, a unit, a team. When one of us did something wrong, they would scold both of us. When someone gave us something, we would share it. There was always a silent understanding between us. My life changed the day he died, and will never be the same. I look to the future - there are so many years left to miss him. I look back and I think to myself, who's going to help me remember?

Life must go on?
I don't remember much from the months after he died. The pain and the grief sent shock waves through my mind and body. I thought a lot about the way he died, the thought of it went on and on in my head. Every morning I woke up to the same unbearable pain. He is gone! He is NEVER coming back. There were times when I hoped I wouldn't wake up. Every little task seemed impossible, and I was so tired. I went into isolation. I felt so different from everyone else. His death was the only thing I could think about. I stopped listening to music, I didn't paint, and I didn't go out. Apart from our family and close friends, people got all shifty eyed and evasive when I started talking about my brother's death. It made me feel even more lonely and isolation seemed more appealing than pretending. For a while I withdrew from my family. When the phone rang I just let it ring. I didn't want to talk to anyone. Everyone kept asking me: "how are your parents?" It was all about them. I know they went through hell, I'm not trying to lessen their grief, but I just wished somebody would ask me how I was. Losing someone to suicide can be a terrible strain on family relations. How many of us have been through the scenario - who is suffering the most?

Sometimes it is as if his death is holding me as hostage. I can't tell my family what I really feel, they have suffered so much, I have to compensate for his death by being cheerful and optimistic.

A confusing grief
And now over four years have passed. The sharp stabs of pain and shock have lessened, but the grief and loss are creating a void inside. Not a day goes by without thinking about him. Everything is subdued; I see life as if through a veil. Losing someone to suicide is a confusing grief. There is guilt, anger, resignation, sadness, loss, introversion and loneliness, breaking like ocean waves. And the never ending oppressive thought - if I had done things differently, would he be alive today? Should we have taken the responsibility off his hands? Had him hospitalized? Did we have the right to intervene? Would he have wanted us to? These questions are wringing my heart time and time again, wearing it out.  The pain he suffered must have been excruciating. And there was nobody there to save him. The thought of my brother feeling completely alone when he died is unbearable. I went over the last day of his life time and time again. It still comes back like a fist in the pit of my stomach, but not so often now. Sometimes I feel that I don't have the right to grieve over him since he was so angry with me the last time we spoke. Sometimes I feel as if I don't deserve to be happy, because he wasn't.

I need to talk about him. To remind people that he was here among us not long ago. He was the brightest and the most successful of the children.  I don't understand. Why didn't he make it?

The realization that I let him down during the last months of his life never leaves me. I didn't call him often enough, I wasn't straightforward enough. I was - in short - a coward. I so desperately hoped it would all pass. Perhaps he didn't think I took his problems seriously.

Why did it go so terribly wrong? His self-esteem gradually became unrealistically low. He saw his life as bleak and desolate. And he wasn't able to talk about it. Finally, he couldn't bear it anymore. Why didn't he see what the rest of us saw? In our eyes it seemed as if he had everything. Why didn't he see our love and appreciation? His family and his friends loved him dearly and we loved being with him. He was warm and kind, well-informed, enthusiastic, charming and funny. It seemed as if Tore wasn't able to see.  It seems as if the depressions came and went throughout his entire life. Was the death wish always there? Sometimes I think so.

A mother's love A mother I read about in the paper said it so beautifully in a speech at her daughter's funeral; 
"All of us have a room into which no one can enter. You couldn't enter mine, and I couldn't enter yours. In that room we can gather strength, but also lose our grip on life. It is with humility and respect I have to acknowledge your choice, even if I don't understand".

A lifelong sadness The journey through grief is lifelong. But things have gradually gotten better, I am stronger now and more at peace, and for that I am entirely grateful.

Both sides of suicide My thoughts and sympathy go to both suicide survivors and those who are suicidal. Suicide survivors are trying to get over the impossible grief and the guilt. Suicidal people are battling with the loneliness and the excruciating pain. It is not easy to understand depression. To me it seems like a thief, robbing you of the life you could have had. And the fact that my brother chose death over life, gives me some indication just how terrible the disease is.

What could have been done differently?  I've been pondering over that question for months - years after Tore died. Maybe his counselors should have involved his surroundings more. Family, friends, colleagues. Created a network around him so to speak. I know the professional secrecy prevents them from doing so, but that has to change. Because it can be a question of life or death!

Our most important task after losing someone to suicide is to learn how to forgive ourselves.

VAJAZZLING

Jennifer Love Hewitt was on this George Lopez show called Lopez Tonight (I always think he’s dead and have to google it). Anyway she tells him that she in which “vajazzles” her “vajayjay.” She was promoting her new book, which I know nothing about and don’t care enough to google. She tells him there’s a chapter he would really like. I guess he let a friend of hers decorate her “precious lady” with Swarovski-crystals to help her get over a break-up. I mean hey, whatever it takes. But sounds like a cheesy promotional play for this book. I think its self help or something.

{ “It really helped me. It looks like a little disco ball down there it’s great. Really.” “I am currently ‘vagazzled’,” she said. “And it’s hot pink for today, so that’s good. I’ve had no complaints about it” -JLH }

Apparently this is going to be the next big thing. Salons in New York already offer little shapes and some kind of 24 karat gold spray you can get. I wonder how long this shit lasts. When we used to do Beck’s promos in Boston we had these guys that would come work with us and Bedazzle stuff. Mainly it was cell phones, and mainly it was drunk girls who got stuff like Diva, or Bitch or worse yet, Slut embellished onto their phones. Anyway, I wonder who does the vajazzling and if it takes a lot of practice. Check it out at Warming Glow.