Wednesday, January 20, 2010

WEASEL WEDNESDAY: BIRTHDAY WEASEL EDITION



- If he’s ok with being your rebound… twice…
- If you finally get the nerve to tell him how you feel about him, he goes on vacation, tells you he’s been thinking about you, and he wishes he could snap his fingers and make you appear, that he can think of lots of “fun things” to do there with you, and then declines your offer to pick him up from the airport, and asks a new biddy to pick him up instead…
- If you spend two entire days together and he gets drunk the second night and sleeps with someone else….
- If your friends, and friends boyfriends are telling you to “be careful,”…
- If he says he doesn’t want a relationship, but wants to have sex with you…
{Me: But you don't do relationships.

Weasel: Haha but I did with you and think I want to do it again.

Me: But I don't want to "do" a relationship with you.

Weasel: I love your sarcasm. I miss it. I miss everything about you...}
- If he talks about marriage, then takes you to dinner at a crowded restaurant and tells you he cheated on you.... piece of shit weasel.
- If you introduce him to a long lost bff and 2 months later he breaks up with you and has her move into the apartment you shared with him.... he is a fucking death weasel.
Ok we had so many Weasels this week it was tough to choose who to feature as our weasel of the week. So check back next week for the runner(s) up.
If he breaks up with you, has a birthday party, invites all of your/ his friends and tells you that you can’t come….
If he then asks to take your out to dinner because he needs a date on his birthday….
If said guy bangs someone else that night (after asking you not to) and lies about it….

He’s the Weasel of the Week.


For more weaselry, check out here. And here.

8 comments:

Julie said...

omg i died laughing at "fucking death weasel"

here's one for the books:

if you are doing long distance, and he INSTANT MESSAGES you...yes, OVER THE COMPUTER to say "I'm going to be a dad, I've been cheating on you, she's 4 MONTH PREGGERS and we're PROBABLY GETTING MARRIED"....fucking death weasel times infinity....

kys said...

If you call him and his roommate answers and asks "Is this Jessica?" and your name is NOT Jessica.

Anonymous said...

If his friends refer to you as "the mistress".

Anonymous said...

If he has a sub-woofer under his bed.

sarah said...

I had a boyfriend who I was living with who was secretly on match.com and his profile picture was one of me and him with me cut out.

jessalyn said...

if he cheats on you, admits it, convinces you take his weasel ass back, then continues to see her behind your back for like 3 months (and takes her on ALL the dates you have been asking him to take you on).
and three years after you breakup he starts talking to you again, and after days of texting you- spends the night with the girl he cheated with you on in the first place!

lesson learned a million times over.

MODG said...

what if he is just super cute and lives in a wooded area and has a tail?

i heart him.

Kel and Jame said...

these are great. not great, but funny after the fact.

is he holding a rubber chicken? he better be.