Thursday, January 7, 2010

ADVENTURES IN SALAD TOSSING




For your reading enjoying we have a guest post today from the Salad Bitch. She brings us daily insight into the wonderful world of tossing salads on the regular. And yesterday, she just may have had her worst customer yet....


Customer of the Year (so far, anyway)

Here's to starting the year out with a doozie. So much for my resolution to be more tolerant... A customer came in today and ordered two wraps. She was probably in her mid-sixties, 50 lbs overweight, frizzy brown hair that had two inch gray roots, and polyester pants. She was someone who likes to make everyone around her miserable, especially people whom she feels she can bully- like people who make her food (bad idea). To save time and speed up the line, I decided to make her wraps together in the same bowl. She looks at me with disgust, cocks her head, and says, "You aren't making them together are you?" I obviously said yes ,but visibly annoyed, ask her if she wants me to separate them. "Yes. Please separate them. I want to make sure you're giving us an equal and fair enough amount of food. It's for my boss and I." I separate them, tell her “don’t worry- I’m the owner- I was just going to double the recipe to make two. You’re GETTING ENOUGH FOOD”. She gave me this shitty look, obviously didn't believe me, and stuck her face over the sneeze guard analyzing every movement I make, shaking her head all the while. My blood was boiling "Is this OKAY with you, or should I start over?" I glared at her. The woman behind her in line choked back a laugh.... She rolled her eyes, "Well, I GUESS I'll take it like that. I want to make sure you give us enough chicken because we are starting our diets today and don't want to feel hungry later this afternoon." Wait you crotchety old bitch, isn't that what a diet is all about?! And also, a buffalo chicken caesar wrap is not exactly the wisest choice when trying to lose weight. Good luck with that! I didn’t cut the wraps in half because so she’d have trouble eating them and look like an ASS in front of her boss. And then she paid with a giftcard.....

I hate the general public.

4 comments:

Martinis or Diaper Genies? said...

I love the Not cutting them in half out of spite. I would slap a wrap bitch for that shit.
good job salad ho.

Organic Meatbag said...

nice job, dear...I actually tossed a salad in preparation of reading this post! Kudos to you...fuck public servicing!

jessalyn said...

not cutting them in half was not being mean enough for how she treated salad bitch! i think i would have snuck in some extra lard, so instead of losing on her "diet", she gained.

Shandal said...

I worked at a bank for 8 years and had to deal with bitch ass customers like that all the time. I don't miss it at all!

I have an award for you!