Wednesday, February 10, 2010

WEASEL WEDNESDAY: WE MADE AN AWARD EDITION!!


Welcome back to Weasel Wednesday.  This is a place we can talk freely about weasels.  Who decides ultimately what makes someone a weasel?  That’s easy.  We do.  Feel free to add your own weasel commentary and maybe it will be featured on the next WW.  As we can see there is no shortage of weaselry and we always have plenty.

As for the weasel in my ceiling, I haven't heard him yet today.  I think/ hope he went for a run in the snow and disappeared.



First round: our Weasel-ettes

If you live with a girl who sleeps with the guy ANOTHER one of your roommates has been sleeping with, denies it, only to have him return the earring she left in his bed.... weasel-ette 

If you already start flirting with other guys before you break up with the current bf...you may or may not be a weasel-ette… or maybe the guy is just a weasel….?  Hmmmm, pondering.

If your new girlfriend invites you to go to a party with her, gets you super drunk and then has sex with one of your best friends at 5am on the couch in the room next to where you have passed out a few hours earlier…. She’s a Skank Ass Bitch Weasel.

Second Round: Facebook Specific Weasels

You find out the man you’re seeing is back with his ex because he changes his single status to "in a relationship"….

The guy your dating gets tagged in all these pics with some slore, and then untags them before he thinks you've seen them.  But guess what, you're addicted to Facebook so you see the pics the second that bitch tags your man…

The guy your seeing deletes posts you've made on his wall….

The guy your dating ends up in some troll's default after not talking to you for a month.  Needless to say, your man has a new girlfriend…..

The guy your dating asks his mom to block you so you can't stalk her page anymore….

Good Old fashioned Weaselry:

- If two months after you've broken up with him, your neighbors see him parked in his totally huge truck across your street, staring at your house, drinking beer...then speeds off when he sees neighbors are staring...

 Stalker Weasel

- If he  texts you and Facebooks you after you are married, then tells you he wishes he was invited to your wedding because he would have said something when the minister said, "speak now or forever hold your peace"…. You know what he is.

- If he tells his “wife that I hope she hurries up and gets pregnant so I don't have to have sex with her anymore. Yay! I'm the weasel.”….  (side note… you do know you can have sex while pregnant, right???)

- If your Halloween date takes off at the end if the night only for you to see him take another girl home right in front of your eyes. The next day he writes to apologize, then has the nerve to ask for pictures from the night. No weasel you will not be receiving pictures and please don't contact me again! Thanks!

- If you tell girls you're super religious but are really the biggest hypocrite in the world…  if you are superficial, judgmental, and have a dirtier mouth then anyone I've ever slept with in my life….you know you’re a weasel.

Weasel of the Week goes to…

If you guys are dating in NYC…. He meets you out at a bar one night while you are out with your friends.  One friend is pretty drunk and so you spend most of the night taking care of her… He secretly stalks your Facebook page to find Drunk Friend… he sees she lives in Florida, and he flies to see her.  All the while he’s still calling you everyday AND lying to you about where his "conference" is located. He tells your friend her it was “cool with you” and proceeds to take your friend on two dates... At this point he is basically dating both of you, and lying about why he is in Florida… only then does he ask if its ok with you….

I’m gonna call this guy “What the Em-Effin Psycho Weasel.”



Thanks to our commenters Meagan@Megs7827 , Stylez, Julie, and our friends- the Weasel Wednesday story suppliers…. 

10 comments:

MODG said...

fuckmyfaceoff that is the best award i have ever seen.

I don't have many weasel stories. Well at least ones that don't involve puzzles.

singedwingangel said...

OH now see i could have donated stories. LIke if your hubby is in another state for military training and they get a weekend furlough and he rents a hotel room with the only 2 females in the platoon and hollers everyone else had already buddied up on the rooms... THEN when you get his brothers todrive up there and he meets you with 2 dozen red roses ( although you didn't tell him you were coming) yeah WEASEL extrodinairre.. wait it gets better...
Then the slores ( I like that word) have the audacity to attempt to speak to you WHILE you are running a pool table imagining their faces on the balls.. while you politely take your shot and state, " Where I am from a ho is a ho is a ho and I would suggest you slither your skanky ho self away from me before I put this pool cue in a place that you will NEVER need a man again.." Just sayin'

meredith said...

that award is badass. almost like an olympic gold medal.

"Julie" said...

omg amazingness. this weasel wednesday is GENIUS ladies...pure genius! so proud to have blog friends like you!

Meagan@Megs7827 said...

I love weasel wednesday and that award! How about if the guy takes you on a first date to burger king and drops you off early cause his ex girlfriend calls?

The Batcave said...

thanks for the love.

I have weasel stories that also involve magic markers and drawing on people.

Pat said...

Dating Psychos is a place to post what you know about your ex psychos
http://www.datingpsychos.com

Click Here to Add and Check Out the Psychos

Pat
http://www.datingpsychos.com

Dual Mom said...

bwwwaahahahaha I'm lovin' weasel Wednesday!

Anonymous said...

One for next week....If you are dating a guy and he only wants to hang out with you late at night so you can hook up with him but never takes you on dates. Then you tell him you will be out with friends and he won't tell you where he is going for the night...but shows up at the place you said you would be and acts like he doesn't know you just to spy on you. Then, when a guy hits on you, he comes over and acts all jealous and wants to fight the guy. Ultimate dbag weasel.

Anonymous said...

How Many Weasels can you count?


A friend of mine has been kind of hooking up with this girl. He’s not really that into her but enjoys the freedom of the drunken hook up when all else fails. The girl starts bringing her friend (who has a boyfriend) around and my boy and the friend start to really hit it off. Now, after a couple of weeks of them all hanging out, my boy and the friend start to become really flirty with one another. One night my boy decides to have after hours at his place. The girl that my boy is seeing is drunk and starts to get pissed at my boy and her friend for being all flirty, so she goes and passes out in his room. After a while everyone else leaves and it’s just my boy and the friend! My boy lays on one of his couches and the friend joins him for a cuddle. They mess around a little bit and the friend starts to feel like a trash bag and says that they can’t , she has a boyfriend. My boy was ok with that. So, he gives the friend a hug and tells her that he’s going to bed and that she’s more than welcome to crash on the couch. He lives in a loft type place, so you can see the couches from his bed.
He lays in bed with the chick that he’s seeing and starts fooling around with her girl junk. Now, she’s still kind of out of it, so he sticks her hand down his pants and she starts giving him some phantom manual (stroking him while drunk and half awake).
This is the kicker! My boy told me that the whole time that she was giving him a hand job he was looking at her friend sleeping on the couch!