Thursday, February 18, 2010

My Life Demon



I have a creature that is disguised as a Chihuahua.  He is def not dog.  Almost positive he is part fox, ferret, bat, and alien.  Actually yes, that is exactly right.   He is best known around these parts as my demon.  He follows me around 24 hours a day and feels everything I do.  Like if I stub my freakishly small pinky toe, he will cry.  His name is Jax. Aka, Rax in Bat speak.  He has many problems.  I’m pretty sure that his brain is going to explode any day now from the constant anx he gives himself.  He does lots of funny weird stuff that I usually encourage because I think it’s entertaining.  If you stare straight into his eyes without saying anything he starts shaking and making high pitched creature sounds.  He is trying to communicate with his fellow creature demons.  My fave thing is when he does this to strangers when they come around.  They really don’t even have to look at him or even acknowledge him before he sits in their laps and starts probing their brains.  He is trying to mind control them to give me free stuff.  He also is a professional nostril diver.  His tongue will touch your brain if you don’t pay attention to your nose holes.  He has extreme OCD tendencies.  He only likes red pieces of creature food and will pick out all the rest.  Give him a creature treat and he will touch his nose to it, then nose slam the ground.  He will do this for hours if you let him.  Yesterday he was hungry so he ferret swiped my sock and put it in his bowl.  He then creature cried until I went and looked at it.  If I were to die he would chew through his skinny creature wrists.  I promise.  He hides and burrows in small areas around the casa and comes out to greet humans upon arrival. He gravitates towards dudes for some reason.  I did not teach him this.  His fave past time is nuzzling my face and trying to burrow in my chest cavity.  His life goal is to live in there all nice and cozy like.  He also serves as a super stylish black and white scarf when I’m cold.  He just acts like he is dead and lets me wear him.  That is pretty fun, and PETA can’t say shit.  I recommend that everyone have a demon.

6 comments:

"Julie" said...

omg please go read what i just posted on my blog. you will die, and so will your adorable creature, because we are one and the same. i need him!!! so so so so presh!

SFKCO said...

your life demon sounds like my alien side kick...who is also part fruit bat

"Julie" said...

i just came back and read this bc it cracked me up so much! my creature is a shih-tzu and she's equally demonic and i loves it! but jax might be my soulmate...

The Batcave said...

Julie, you are def creature soulmate material. It makes us like you even more.

MODG said...

is this jamie or kelly? I need to know please sign your posts.
also i'm balls jealous.

The Batcave said...

This is Kel. We like to be mysterious. And Jax is stupendous. I understand the jealousy.