Thursday, January 14, 2010

YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD HOOKER


Today is another exciting update on my cat lady, hoarder, weirdo neighbor. She still continues with the nightly cat hunt around my windows...."HERE KITTY KITTY!" But these days she has found that meowing loudly to her cats must round them up faster. I keep wondering what she is really saying to them in cat talk. Probably some sort of mating call. Gross. Along with the new found cat calling technique, there comes big news. SH is convinced that she is definitely, one hundred percent, no question about it.... a prostitute. Yep, you read it here first folks! I must say that the evidence points to this being true. Let's go over it, shall we....


- She doesn't go to any type of job during the day.
- There are always different cars "visiting" her place.
- She is always driving "a friends car" and it's never the same one.
- At move in, she warned me that she is nocturnal.
- She says that she does massages.
- And lastly, the moment SH concluded that she is def a hook was the other day when he had to knock on her door because a strange car was parked in our spot. He knocks, and through the door she asks who it is. "It's your neighbor." She tells him that she isn't decent, and she can't open the door. SH then asks her about the car in our driveway. "Oh, That's my friends car. Sorry, he'll move it." SH comes to our place and of course watches out of the window. Man comes out, messily dressed, gets in the car and leaves. SH says it was the exact amount of time it takes a guy to throw on his pants and shirt, and walk out the door. (I didn't know this was an exact science. I learned something new.) We have yet to see this "friend" again, but a few different cars have taken it's place.

So, the question of the day..... Hooker, or not? Let's take a survey.

PS... As I am about to post, a dude just showed up in a taxi at her house. Wow.

5 comments:

singedwingangel said...

umm massage therapist at home as a rule = hig dollar prostitute who don't needa sugar daddy to get her groove on. If she is one at least she has enough sense to hold her own and not be giving her money to some man...

sarah said...

Prostitute central.

Kelly @ Dare to be Domestic said...

I hope she getting paid for all that action, that's all I'm going to say!

Organic Meatbag said...

definitely a hooker... "will play with your balls for cat food"

jessalyn said...

totally a prosty.