Wednesday, September 2, 2009


I am sitting at the bar doing work. Literally. I am the only person in here (besides my employees) who is not on a mission to get drunk. I am on a mission to get into my bed. Here's some insight into my day today. Art Gallery opening- Keg tubs and cups, check. Event turned circus themed birthday party- specials, check. Outfit... in the works. Make gazillions of kits for events and figure out how to methodically get them where they need to go. Event every event of my life into google calendar. Try to figure out how to make Evite for my kids birthday party. Fail. Call friend who is way better at that. Next event. Find slutty skirts for the girls to wear. Figure how how many extension cords it will take to make the fog machine work (is this my job, really??). Feed baby. Yell at dog. Take dog out. Yell at baby. Let baby take every DVD off the shelf. Back to work. How many parties can I plan? Schedule more events. Carry laptop in one arm, baby in other to take dog out.... again. My neighbors think I am crazy. Oh wait thats because I am wearing flannel pans with dogs on them in 90 degree weather. My house is an igloo. Go to my disaster of a storage unti for an hour. Can't find what I need. Make what I need from a t-shirt. Find cheerleader costumes that smell like they have been in the unit since 95. Where were they last year when i wanted to be a cheerleader for Halloween? Drive an hour to be that girl at the bar sitting on her computer. The one with no shoes on because I am pretending I am on my couch. The one googling pictures of chincillas. Trying to do admin. Jimmy Buffett is blasting in my ear, and everyone looks like they just rolled out of bed. They think they are hot. They dance seductively, or so they think. They ooh and ahh over the blinking necklaces. They ask me why I am not drinking. I tell them I am in AA. They buy it and feel bad for me. They leave me alone. They then bring me a shot. Ok, so apparently no sympathy for those in AA. I tell them I am driving. Still no sympathy. I am being peer pressured by people who have antlers on their car. Yes, for real. usually this type of interaction is easily avoided by convincing them I am crazy. One night I was looking for an electrical outlet in the bar. Some one asked if I was looking for an animal. I said "yes." He said what is it? Me: a chinchilla. Its my pet. Him: You are never gonna find it in here. Me: I will if you help me. Next thing you know I have 3 guys in their fifties helping me search for my alleged missing chinchilla. I tell them it is a joke. they are only slightly amused. They then tell me I look like a Lion Tamer. Is this supposed to upset me? Its doesn't! Thanks!!! I love Lions! and tamers! and it reminds me of Britney, so I am happy.