Tuesday, November 24, 2009

THE TRUTH ABOUT D DAY



I don’t usually write about baby stuff. Reason being I don’t really follow any rules when it comes to parenting, and I can’t call anything that I have to offer “advice.” A little about me… I work for one of the largest beer brands. I cover a major city and its 5 surrounding counties. I do everything from staffing events, to setting up events, to selling beer, to tapping kegs, to payroll, to hiring and training, to telling girls they don’t have enough make-up on. In my world, no one starts work before 10 am. So having a baby while on this career path was very different from the norm. But who is anyone to decide what’s normal.

My loving, charming, love of my life baby boy was the result of a one time oops. ONE TIME. His father and I were in a serious and committed relationship and own our house together, as well as have been best friends for 10 years. So it wasn’t the worst situation to have an oops baby in. Anyway I was quite the free spirit, and neither of us ever wanted kids. Or so we thought….

First off I am not a bad person and I helped raise my 2 younger brothers, but I would still consider myself to be “anti-baby.” I was not the person anyone expected to be the first of our friends who had a kid. 2 people literally said “ I would have been less surprised if you told me you murdered someone” when I told them I was pregnant. It was just unheard of. My cousin told me, you know how people are going to be talking about “Where were you when Michael Jackson died? I will always remember where I was when I found out you were pregnant.”

Picture the most traumatic day of my life. In the shower I realize that I have been sick with the “flu” for over a week and I am beginning to wonder if I have mono. All of the sudden it hits me like a brick wall. I am 4 days late. I take an old test I had lying around from the buy one get one free days of college. I am talking to the UO. I tell her there is an error message and I am going to take it anyway. There is a disclaimer that if you get an error message it will clear after 20 minutes or something. So I wait it out and take it. Its freaking positive. Is this a joke? Ok its gotta be a bad test. But I knew. They say you just know, I just knew. So its rainy out and I am so miserable. I put on my boots and my sunglasses and walk down to Rite Aid. I buy 4 different multi packs of pregnancy tests and a box of tissues. I do not take off my sunglasses at any point. I spent like $90 on all these tests. I get home and start chugging the water. And taking these tests… Test 2: Positive. Test 3: Positive. I am now lining up the tests along the bathtub (how very Knocked Up of me). So I call the bf and tell him I am preg. I refuse to say it out loud and just keep saying I took a test. Life = over. I really expect him to drop everything and come home. He does not. Then I say I am just kidding. I am not kidding I am just being funny (or so I think). Really I am serious. This is just a little insight into the strangeness of my brain. My best friend, I called her crying right after I took 9 million tests. Again I say I am crying because I took a pregnancy test. Her response “and you are crying because you peed on your hand?”

If this sounds not out of the realm of possibility for your reaction, stayed tuned for more stories.

9 comments:

Martinis or Diaper Genies? said...

Love this story. I am just WAITING for this to happen to me. The problem is I'm on all sorts of baby killer/alien creation meds so this worries me.

singedwingangel said...

all 3 of my kids were pill babies, and not I just started and it hasn't kicked in pill babies, but been on it for 4 years and why is this happeneing. I also never registered positive until 3-4 months along even on a blood test..

Working Mommy said...

Oh, how I feel your pain!! The man (hubs) and I love our daughter VERY much...but she was an oops baby. I wouldn't change anything in the world about what happened, but I definitely took a million and one tests - at work - and called my best gf crying. She didn't think it was me - partly b/c I never cry and partly b/c she doesn't know how to deal with crying. I told the man that night...on his 30th birthday...SURPRISE!!

Mrs P said...

Haha I love this story, especially your friends' reactions. Tell me one thing... how do I get a job like yours?! Sounds like a dream...

jessalyn said...

i was really sick this winter for some reason (bad colds/flu, shingles) so my doc put me on prenatal vitamins because they are supposed to be the best or something. my bf is convinced this makes me more fertile...needless to say- we aren't doing the baby making dance as often now a days because he is certain we will end up with an oops. it makes me want to hit him.

Kel and Jame said...

Haha Jessalyn! Thats really funny. One thing the prenatal vitamins do is make you more susceptible to sunburn, take it from me!

also the thing about "oops" is that I really felt it was meant to be. After the why me, why me stopped...

At least I'm skinny said...

That's always how I've envisioned my reaction will be when I find out I'm pregnant.

Organic Meatbag said...

Yeah, I reacted the same way when I found out I was pregnant...then I realized how much money I was going to make ...

Anonymous said...

Obviously I knew the story but hearing it again in your own words is really cool. Good story and good writing and cute baby and good use of buy one get one prego tests from Mclanahans:) ~Big Bird