GUIDOS GOT MOVES

         First off I know I still owe ya one from the Phils game, but it’s been a long hard recovery road on that one.  So lets fast forward to last night...

         It was a ladies night here so we started off the night right with Blood Orange margs at El Vez. Oh and Surf and Turf tacos, and Salsa Mexicana, but besides the point. For those of you who don’t know I am obsessed with Stephen Starr Restaurants, especially El Vez.  Us tree friends make it a point to go for brunch everytime we are together in the city.  We love you El Vez. http://www.elvezrestaurant.com/

         So after a few there we head over to this new club called Sumo.  Its attached to a sushi bar called Raw.  The place itself was really cool, there were sumo wrestlers painted on the walls (in a trendy modern way, not a cheesy way, if you can believe that).  There was a chandelier that I loved and want in my new bedroom.  Its like the one on the blog!

         So we are basically the first ones there because our friend knows the guy who is throwing the party.  Its cool though we drink some crazy Asian restaurant specialities like Silk Kimonos and Lady Dragons.  We camp out at a table before the crowd rushes in. 

         The UO walks in and seriously finds a guy with a ponytail, like immediately.  This is funny because this may have been her internal goal.  It turned out he went to high school with my cousin.  Small world.  With him came this other guy who I have known for years.  He is my cousin’s family friend.  He was totally hitting on the UO, then me before I said I know you.  I have like known you for years.  Seriously I have seen this guy at least once a year for the past 15 years.  Our families have vacationed together.  He is all oh sorry I am so messed up and proceeds to go creep on other girls.  Phew!

         There are these guidos there in there matching Ed Hardy shirts.  They are dancing in the mirror.  Like dancing and watching themselves in the mirror.  For real dudes? So lame but funny.  We of course decide to heckle them.  They think this is our mating call and come over and ask us to dance.  Hell no.  But instead, I will video you and laugh about it later.  So I do.  They guy thinks I am trying to take a photo and comes over and poses.  This makes everything so much more funny.   He is posing for the video.  My friends encourage this.  “You look so sexy, oh yeah that’s hot, keep it coming” were some quotes from the video. 

         It was a party for this website that is called www.brokeup.com.  It has really funny stories and blogs from writers.  This will explain my next story about the musical chair.  One I read really made me laugh.  Its written by this guy Ryan, who I have yet to meet, but I am determined to.  Here’s my favorite quote: “After popping the cork and mixing a few anonymous narcotics with my vino, I was beginning to get sloppier than a threesome involving Lindsay Lohan, Courtney Love, and an 8-ball of blow.”  If you want to read the whole post check it out at: http://taintedtongue.blogspot.com/

            So this party a pretty cool concept, in order to get people to interact with each other, they have printed monopoly money that you can use to buy drinks for members of the opposite sex.  I of course use this as an excuse to not get up off the couch.  Like, ever.  But that’s fine, they came to us.  The seat in front of the UO was basically a musical chair for the worlds biggest toolbags to rotate though and make petty attempts at getting us to dance.  No way amd I moving.  You are “boringgggg” says one guy.  My response, “well you are ugly.”  Go away Gotti wannabe, I think you are giving me swine flu.  I probably seemed like the bitter ugly friend at this point making a mockery of every attempt every guy made at her, but we were trapped.  Its not like they walked up to us at a bar and tried to talk to us, they basically had us cornered.  And I am not friendly to outsiders.  Get out of my bubble.  So finally it was time to give up and go home.  But mission go out and have fun was successful.  I look forward to the next one…. xox