Monday, May 24, 2010

Prom Boy goes haywire. And I watch the slow wreck...

22 year old Justin Bieber and I talk throughout Sunday and Facebook back and forth.  I notice he became friends with a few other people from the party, we tag each others pictures so on and so forth.  4 days later he is in a relationship on Facebook.  I take this very seriously as facebook is life.  However after reviewing the prom pictures I decide that my little cutie can no way in hell be with this chick unless he’s into beastiality.

Here’s my note to him…

Dear 22 year old,
 You have to be out of your freaking mind, why one earth would you go out with a girl who is 11 years older than you? And right after you met me? What the fuck is that? That makes me feel like I am either an ugly fucking troll, which I am not, or that you have mental problems.

Xox, Bat

So I have continued on to stalking the shit out of these 2 because it provides me with endless entertainment and this story for you guys.  I just about stalk them daily.  Its great.  You would think that they would block me or make that shit private.  But no its free reign for me to find out what freaks these suburbs people are.  I banged this 22 year old in the back of his car after a party.  It was awesome.  We talked the next day.  He friend requested me.  Broke rule number one.  He is so dumb because this 33 year old girl friend requested him, they stayed in touch, they got into a facebook relationship 4 days after hanging out and dating.  Now they are moving in together!!!  In the middle of effing nowhere.

Here is our conversation:

Me: is this relationship stat real?

Bieber 22: yeah it is...

Me: so you have a girlfriend already? and you met her the same night you met me? and its THAT girl in the picture? woah weird BAHAHAHA

Bieber 22: well she like added me after that party i didnt even talk to her there then we just started hanging out it happened kinda fast..

Me:  ok well good luck. i guess call me if it doesn't work out. haha. I'm surprised she doesn't look like your type. Or I guess I am the one who's not your type...

Bieber 22: i dunno we just clicked but i mean who knows what'll happen i'd still like to party or whatever just cant hook up ya know im not a cheater

Me: its cool. whatever. i just think its pretty fucking weird. i'm not trying to get you to cheat i just think people who have awesome sex in the back of cars and end up with a girlfriend they met the same night as me who is obviously completely opposite of me like 4 days later is weird. why bother even asking for my number, you could have left it as it was or at least responded when I was asking if it was real. is she like way older than you?

Me: this is f'in hilarious you are moving in with her now? this is a great story


This is obvs going to lead me into my post about downgrades… and the more you hate me, the more I love me… so feel free to comment..


Anonymous said...

BAHAHAHAHAA. Love. That chick is a beast......fake prom outfits are way cooler than chest tats. Word to Big Bird.