WEASEL WEDNESDAY: GIVING UP SHAME FOR LENT EDITION

Welcome back to Weasel Wednesday.  This is a place we can talk freely about weasels.  Who decides ultimately what makes someone a weasel?  That’s easy.  We do.  Feel free to add your own weasel commentary and maybe it will be featured on the next WW. 

If she leaves you laying on her bed, in her parents house, with her dog while she has to have her nightly conversation with her boyfriend before he goes to bed.... she’s our Weekly Weaselette....

If he claims to be dating you but is still hooking up with old flames...

If he sleeps with other girls when you are together but then breaks up with you when he finds dirty texts in your phone...

If lies and says he has sex with you at any time that was untrue....

If he takes you on the WORST DATE EVER then asks you out AGAIN a week later...Retard Weasel.

(make sure to check out this hilar story from one of our faithful Weasel Wednesday commenters!! :).... and follow her)

Hot Tub Weasel:

This guy has been trying to date you for a while but has been married. He tries to hook up with you during the marriage but you let him know "no way while your married." He finally gets a divorce so you agree to meet up. He flies your girlfriends and yourself to Mexico for an amazing vacation. You aren't having sex with him so he decides to finger your super drunk girlfriend in the hot tub and then acts like it never happened....

Threesome Weasel:

I was dating a guy a few years younger than I was that was positive the only way to my heart was to impress me. He borrowed his brothers Porsche and said it was his and almost put himself into debt taking me out to nice restaurants. He lied his ass off about everything but had no problem telling me right before we hooked up he had just had a threesome in Vegas a few days prior!!!

Weekly Weasel-Gram:

Dear Weasel,

First off, you almost ruined my life. I hope you are happy about that. You probably are, because you are a weasel. I am not bitter, I just don’t like you anymore I cared enough to let you go, and you did not have the same respect for me. You wanted me around until you found a “suitable” replacement. Guess what? She’s ugly. You know that, right? K, just checking. And she will never be me. If she was me, you wouldn’t have strung her along the whole time so you could date me too. Thanks for nothing. I am glad you picked her because you two deserve each other. Small town, boring folks. The only thing I am upset about now is how much time and energy I wasted. I should have listened to my friends a long time ago. Remember when you asked if they don’t like you? The answer is no, they don’t. Even the ones who like you don’t like you. And not even because I told them too, although I would have anyway, they don’t like you for how you treated me. Funny thing is, I knew everything and still cared about you. Guess that wasn’t good enough. Its ok though, lesson learned. The only thing that could be worse than this is if I would have actually ended up with you. Then I would be the one who had to put up with all the sneaking around and lies, instead of her.

The only reason I am writing this is because I am forgetting you.  

Have a nice life. 

TTYN,

Bats

Weasel of the Week:

If you go away with him on vacation, and feeds you xanax so you’ll pass out and he can go meet up with a girl he met at party... 

He's Super-cali-weaselistic-expia-lidocious.