We have friends who talk about important stuff. Like Snooki

So we all know (and love love or secretly love) the Jersey Shore. This will not be the first or last post about it.

But we know people. Who know people at Fox. Who know people who know Snooki.

Danny does Snooki who does Jersey.

Let's hear it for the boys. And the oompa loompas.

Prom Boy goes haywire. And I watch the slow wreck...

22 year old Justin Bieber and I talk throughout Sunday and Facebook back and forth.  I notice he became friends with a few other people from the party, we tag each others pictures so on and so forth.  4 days later he is in a relationship on Facebook.  I take this very seriously as facebook is life.  However after reviewing the prom pictures I decide that my little cutie can no way in hell be with this chick unless he’s into beastiality.

Here’s my note to him…

Dear 22 year old,

 You have to be out of your freaking mind, why one earth would you go out with a girl who is 11 years older than you? And right after you met me? What the fuck is that? That makes me feel like I am either an ugly fucking troll, which I am not, or that you have mental problems.

Xox, Bat

So I have continued on to stalking the shit out of these 2 because it provides me with endless entertainment and this story for you guys.  I just about stalk them daily.  Its great.  You would think that they would block me or make that shit private.  But no its free reign for me to find out what freaks these suburbs people are.  I banged this 22 year old in the back of his car after a party.  It was awesome.  We talked the next day.  He friend requested me.  Broke rule number one.  He is so dumb because this 33 year old girl friend requested him, they stayed in touch, they got into a facebook relationship 4 days after hanging out and dating.  Now they are moving in together!!!  In the middle of effing nowhere.

Here is our conversation:

Me: is this relationship stat real?

Bieber 22: yeah it is...

Me: so you have a girlfriend already? and you met her the same night you met me? and its THAT girl in the picture? woah weird BAHAHAHA

Bieber 22: well she like added me after that party i didnt even talk to her there then we just started hanging out it happened kinda fast..

Me:  ok well good luck. i guess call me if it doesn't work out. haha. I'm surprised she doesn't look like your type. Or I guess I am the one who's not your type...

Bieber 22: i dunno we just clicked but i mean who knows what'll happen i'd still like to party or whatever just cant hook up ya know im not a cheater

Me: its cool. whatever. i just think its pretty fucking weird. i'm not trying to get you to cheat i just think people who have awesome sex in the back of cars and end up with a girlfriend they met the same night as me who is obviously completely opposite of me like 4 days later is weird. why bother even asking for my number, you could have left it as it was or at least responded when I was asking if it was real. is she like way older than you?

Me: this is f'in hilarious you are moving in with her now? this is a great story

OK SO MY QUESTION IS.... WOULD YOU RATHER....

This is obvs going to lead me into my post about downgrades… and the more you hate me, the more I love me… so feel free to comment..

Stomach Shooters

We had a suggestion from a faithful reader.  To talk about “stomach shooters.”  Now that’s some batspeak for ya.  Keep reading to get more details on this special breed….  “And I say the blog should have an upcoming story about letting guys know that us girls need to be fore-warned before they explode on our stomach….”

And so unfolds a story of guys who sadly enough, “sneak attacks with jizz.”

My first experience with this was in college.  In a dorm room no less.  I already had my own apartment, but was already honing in on my cougar skills and decided to make the trek back to dorm world for some fun with the hot boy.  Now I thought he was really hot.  Apparently hot enough to ignore the fact that he was acting like we were in a porn and he insisted on jerking off next to me instead of actually hooking up with me.  At some point I finally realized he was more into himself then he was into me.  I probably should have left to test my theory but shit, I was already there so why not stick around to see how it ended.  Well let’s just say it ended with a very unsatifying pile on my stomach.  By now I can’t even remember if he cleaned it up, or if I did, I only remember thinking WTF.  And what a waste.  Why did we not just have sex?  Why instead did he have sex with himself and land his unborn babies on my stomach?  Isn’t that what condoms are for?  Or a combo of birth control and pulling out?  (it was college here, give me a break).

So a few of us girls were sitting in the student union building one day and his name comes up.  I of course feel the strong need to tell everyone about what had happened on our “romantic evening.”  I quickly recover by saying  “OMG guys! Don't tell anyone I told you about this poor boy! 

Later that day he IMed me this morning during class and was all, "I hope you said all good things about me!" I was all, "Ummmm, yeah!"   As it turns out, he had also IMed one of my friends that day and simply said "yooo". She did not feel that such a tactless IM required a response.  He also invited her to his apartment party, too. I told her she should bring a towel...Poor guy.  But on the bright side, he didn't sneak attack my mouth with jizz.... (some might say….I know I don't need those empty wasted calories!)  I however would suffice to say that at least it would make your skin clear up.  But from a random, no thanks.

So he will forever be remembered as the “Stomach Shooter.”  We may even start “Goober Tuesdays” in his honor…. Thoughts?

Breakfast Appetizers

A few years ago, while living in Boston, my friend and I had another crazy night.

We went to a bar where we were completely out of place.  We asked the bartender to make us red-headed sluts.  He made them as drinks instead of shots.  We drank them anyway.  We wanted sausage.  Apparently in more ways then one.  We go to the sausage cart to get sausage.  (This is common in Boston, and delicious) I don’t think we had money.  If we did, I guess we didn’t want to spend it.  Because I flashed the dude and got us some free sausage.  And not like that. 

Well at least not till later.  We both lived in the city.  We could have taken a cab home.  I guess we felt it was a better idea to go meet these cute guys across Quincy Market and go home with them.  I’m pretty sure I made mine come pee with me on the steps somewhere, and my friend was dumping her bottled water on hers.  Obviously these were 2 desirable qualities in girls because they took us back with them.  We drive with them outside of the city to their place.  I think the guy had a cat and sold pottery for a living.  My friend had sex with her dude on the patio, I think she got concrete burn. he was really funny and had to get up early in the morning to play in a golf tournament.

My dude took the two of us to breakfast in the morning before he took us home.  (Granted she stayed in touch with hers, I did not.) We were starving.  Starving so much that we wanted appetizers for breakfast.  We proceeded to ask the bartender why there were not apps for breakfast.  He brought us a bowl of oatmeal.  Appetizer for breakfast.  Sounds like a great idea.  I love brunch and am always hungry.  I always want breakfast appetizers.  Today in NYC there was whole section of the menu devoted to it.  Awesome.  

Words from the Wise.

He is a Zach Braff: a dumb a**hole in a nerdy cute guy's body... very deceiving... the worst kind.

Every girl has dated one at some point in time. You lower your physical standards in the hope of finding more substance, but there is none. Instead just a nerdy d-bag who got off on the fact that he dated someone superior to himself. *stumbles off soap box*

Sometimes your neighbors fight.

Once upon a time, I heard my neighbors fighting….

So I was awakened a couple times tonight to hear my neighbor and a lady. First talking then dancing and then to hear her tearing him apart. She said that he was fat and over weight, she would never f**k him because he could barely move, ripped into him about his cat being fat, also something about him being too agreeable. I'm thinking this whole time, if u feel this way about him why did u go home with him and stay @ his house to 4:30 in the am? THEN as I'm thinking he needs to smack this b***h I hear her fall down his stairs and he's like “you ok?” Small “yes.” Then its quiet, I'm secretly hoping she broke her leg, he cut off her air supply and is digging a shallow grave in the basement for this evil woman. Then she leaves and he yells down the road "get out b***h."

So you think that's the end? F*** no. He gets a call and I hear him say to come back.  He goes outside and he's directing her back. I of course jump from my bed because I got to see this train wreck.  She is dressed in dark form fitting cloths, heeled boots I'm guessing, and dark hair shoulder length and thin. She grabs whatever she forgot from him ( a book I believe) and leaves. My neighbor calls to her to get home safe and text him when she arrives. Then I guess he throws a bottle towards the recycling or in her direction, whichever it was she storms back saying your going to throw a bottle at a woman?? Then I heard something about wanting to fight him. Then how she doesn't have time. (hahaha) And he's like I don't know what your talking about. She turns to leave again. And he calls out to walk home safe, text me, I wish you well, I wanna kiss you, I wanna kiss your stomach, I wish you well, b***h! I was loving how he stayed true to his nice roots, really wished he would of called her a G. D. Skank in the midst because her mouth was that trashy. Who needs a TV if you live in this neighborhood? 

WEASEL WEDNESDAY: GOLDEN GIRLS EDITION

Welcome back to Weasel Wednesday.  This is a place we can talk freely about weasels.  Who decides ultimately what makes someone a weasel?  That’s easy.  We do.  Feel free to add your own weasel commentary and maybe it will be featured on the next WW.  As we can see there is no shortage of weaselry and we always have plenty....

- If a guy takes you on a first date to burger king and drops you off early cause his ex girlfriend calls….

- If you hubby is in another state and they get a weekend furlough and he rents a hotel room with the only 2 females in the platoon….

- If you are dating a guy and he only wants to hang out with you late at night so you can hook up with him but never takes you on dates…. Then you tell him you will be out with friends and he won't tell you where he is going for the night...but shows up at the place you said you would be and acts like he doesn't know you just to spy on you….. Then, when a guy hits on you, he comes over and acts all jealous and wants to fight the guy…. Ultimate D-bag Weasel.

I’d Like to steal a term from MODG and call this one the “F***myfaceoff Weasel”

-        If you went home with him and didn't want to get frisky because of the lack of landscaping to the shrubbery down below, but, after some convincing, got in the shower to take care of aforementioned situation then proceeded to get frisky, spend the night, and wake up in the morning to find his roommate in bed with you angrily asking who the f*** you were and stating that you passed out naked in his bed, later finding out that the man you slept with slipped out before you awoke and was in cahoots with his roommate just so he wouldn't have to say goodbye to you...YOU GOT WEASELED….

This week we have our first ever “Weasel-gram”… and let me tell you how super-duper-shades and a-high-side-ponytail excited about this new gem to be bringing you…!!  The world of weasels has reached all time high…

 

Dear Weasel,

I thought I was slumming' dating you to begin with. I am aware your brain can't be larger than your tiny penis but that is still no excuse for your weasel-ness. For starters you lie to attract girls. I.E. "I'm going to try out to play pro baseball so I'll most likely be playing pro ball soon." when the reality is you will never play pro ball. You tell girls you're super religious but I've never seen a bigger hypocrite in the world. You are superficial, judgmental, and I've never heard a dirtier mouth on anyone I've ever slept with in my life.  I especially loved when I came back from California early just to see you only for you to ditch me and your Facebook status to read "going to see a certain someone". This upset me so much since we were talking every day like we were together, I had to excuse myself from visiting with my grandfather.....who the next evening almost died. Somehow you weaseled your way out of that one and kept me around by saying you were so busy working but wanted to keep talking, however the reality was you were seeing another girl the entire time and stringing me along. When the girl took off, and I had moved on, you tried to reconnect again. I dumbly accepted and invited you to my birthday. Not only did you totally bail out on coming to my birthday but you didn't even text or call to let me know you couldn't make it and you ruined my night. I dumbly reconnected with you one last time.... met up with you and finally realized you were King Weasel!!  I am glad to be rid of you.

TTYN,

Bats

And yes, the Moment we’ve all been waiting for… its our Weasel of the Week!

If he’s are dating* a nice, cute girl (Rose)… who's really into him and starts bringing her friend around (Blanche), who happens to have a boyfriend…  and the Weasel and Blanche start to really hit it off….. he’s probably a weasel....

… Now, after a couple of weeks of them all hanging out, Weasel and Blanche start to become really flirty with one another. One night Weasel has after hours at his place…. Rose is drunk and starts to get pissed at Weasel and Blanche for being all flirty, so she goes and passes out in his room, in bed with Sophia…. After everyone else leaves and it’s just Weasel and Blanche, Weasel is laying on one of his couches and Blanche joins him for a cuddle. They mess around** a little bit and the friend starts to feel like a trash bag and says that they can’t… she has a boyfriend. Weasel tells her that he’s going to bed and that she can crash on the couch.

[He lives in a loft type place, so you can see the couches from his bed.]


He lays in bed with Rose (and Sophia) and starts fooling around with Rose's girl junk…. Now, she’s still kind of out of it, so he sticks her hand down his pants and she starts giving him some phantom manual***

And the real weaselry here is …

Weasel said that the whole time that she was giving him a hand job he was looking at her friend sleeping on the couch….  Ouch.

Guyspeak…

*He’s not really that into her but enjoys the freedom of the drunken hook up when all else fails. 

**kissing on the neck, back rubs, blah blah…

***stroking him while drunk and half awake

Words from the wise: " Where I am from a ho is a ho is a ho and I would suggest you slither your skanky ho self away from me before I put this pool cue in a place that you will NEVER need a man again.."

Thanks to singedwingangel and  Meagan@Megs7827 for their comments last week!

5 Things We like today:

**Headbands

Yes headbands.  And I really like the ones here at Ban.do.   

Dudes at bars like them too.  True story.  Always good to carry one in your purse in case you need a costume change at some point in the night.  The ones listed are made by two girls who are stylists from LA, and one is named Jamie!  Love this quote from them: “ jen thinks she is funnier than jamie, but jamie disagrees.”  Hmmm. Sounds familiar, no??

**Alice in Wonderland AND ***Urban Outfitters

There is the amazingness that is this book and these illustrations.  Best.  Thing.  Ever.  Welcome to my dream world.  Check out the video here.

And speaking of Alice…did you ever watch the made for tv version from 1985? It was a 2 night special.. Anywho, you should check it out.....it ROCKS :) There are clips on youtube just search Alice in Wonderland 1985 and they will come up...  creeps my out slightly how slow it moves… but also makes me LOL!! 

Another UO contest and one that we Bats entered but did not win…. Wahhhh…. But the pics that did win are pretty cool so check them out here.

**  Taking boy stuff and making it girl stuff

This is such a cool idea!!!  And so creative J  The basic premise is that you send her a shirt of a boy (one you love or one you hate, really doesn’t matter!!) And she makes it into a scarf, pin or messenger bag.  Super cute results, and you can keep him around forever, or just remember you made something good come from him (and then forget him).

http://www.girlyfied.com/

** Emotions Can Be Dangerous

Sh*t don’t I know that.  Dangerous, painful and effin’ hard and miserable.  The real statement here is in the pieces!  This is my #1 favorite item right now. I wear it all the times,  usually even to sleep.  Made by a local artist, Sharif, I saw it on Daily Candy and swore it was made for me. Might because it reminds me of my 2 besties in other parts of the country.  Maybe its because it reminds me of La Roux “ My heart melts just like plastic….”  Maybe it’s the shattered dream of my “bag o’ weapons” necklace. Whatever it is, it makes me happy and I want more. Look out for lots more stuff we like from this guy…. I mean really perfect right? Hearts and guns and cold hard shiny plastic… what’s not to L.O.V.E?

I want this… and this….

Check out all of it here.

I'm a Lush.

One of my favorite people works at Lush and has turned a bunch of us on to some really cool products that I find myself talking about all the time… So here’s a ton of info (probably more than you need to know) about some cool stuff… it’s broken down by category for easy reading.  Check out the guy’s section for V-Day ideas (or anti-V-Day)…. Bats’ notes are in Blue…

All about Lush…

         Lush carries an array of bath and shower products. They have everything you could possibly need from head to toe (including hair care and skin care.) Everything is hand made (and have these really cool little labels that tell you who made in and when.  So if anything is wrong you can go after them with a vengeance J) and contains natural and fresh ingredients.....everything is vegetarian. There are also many vegan products, which means they do not contain any animal byproducts. What makes some of the items not vegan and just vegetarian you ask? Well, some of our products contain ingredients such as honey and many vegans consider that to be an animal byproduct.

             At Lush, we are animal LOVERS. Therefore, none of our products are tested on animals.  Anything we do get from animals such as honey is sourced ethically; we have very high standards for our suppliers and keep a close watch to ensure no animals are harmed or mistreated.  If we believe a supplier is unethical, we stop using them even if that means a product has to stop being made. We donate to many charities and even have a body lotion called "Charity Pot," all of the lids have different charities on them and when you purchase a pot, 100% of the proceeds go to the charity on the lid.

            Besides sourcing our ingredients ethically, we also believe in saving the environment.  All of our black pots are made from 100% recycled plastic, and we recycle them for you if you bring them back into our stores. Also, all of our bags are made from recycled paper.

What are your favorite Lush products?

1) Ocean Salt (face & body scrub) - this is by far my number one; I have oily skin and use this every day on my face. It has fine and course ocean salt that exfoliates, avocado and coconut that add moisture, lime that brightens the skin, and rice vodka which acts as an astringent. You can use it on your whole body! It tastes salty in a good way.  Like you were just at the beach.  It makes you feel like you are washing away the dirty, in whatever regard that may be. Sea salt scrub is so addicting, I crave this stuff.  Like for real, I am like oh I can’t wait to wash my face today.  The large ones are $32 and the small ones are $19.  Get the big one, trust me.  This stuff is gonna make you feel better, and look better.  I swear.

2) Dream Cream - fabulous body moisturizer! Very gentle, really good for everyone, even those with super sensitive skin. Helps with eczema. It has oat milk and chamomile flower in it. A little goes a very long way and it makes my skin really soft!

3) Buffy - god bless Buffy! You use this in the shower; it is a body butter with a shea and cocoa butter base. It has ground almonds, ground aduki beans, and rice in it, which exfoliate your skin. While you exfoliate, it leaves behind the shea and cocoa butter so when you get out of the shower, you already have some moisturizer on!  Be careful with this stuff, it works awesome but don’t scrub too hard, luckily Lush Lady had warned me about this before I used it.  Margarita was not so lucky, she was sitting next to me at the bar and looked like a cat had attacked her.  But I use this the day before I spray tan (with ocean salt right before) and it really makes me feel like my tan holds well.  It also makes your bathroom smell awesome.  And I don’t have a ton of time to moisturize so it’s a time saver too.

What kind of baby/kid stuff do they have?

- I have many customers with younger children who have used Lush on them since birth...but I’m no child expert and certainly wouldn't claim to be!! These are two that I would recommend and I know parents have used from a very young age...

1) Ickle baby angel & devil - this is a bath bomb (fizz). It is very soothing for kids, it has chamomile, sandalwood, and lavender in it. You drop it in the water, and it fizzes out.  It is great for before bedtime, as it will put your kids to sleep!

(Ickle Baby Devil & Angel)

2) Honey I Washed The Kids soap - this is an amazing body soap...one of the top sellers! IT IS AWESOME! My Dad is in love with the stuff, and I send it to him in large amounts. It has honey, aloe, bergamot (natural antidepressant), and sweet orange oil in it. It is creamy and moisturizing and it smells so good you will want to eat it! Honey is also an anti-fungal so it really makes you clean!

3) Dream Cream body moisturizer – super gentle, made by Lush founder for his son who had eczema (see my top 3).

Kids love all the bath bombs, and the bubble bars (our solid bubble bath). All of them are safe for children. Since our products are so natural and fresh, they are safe for all ages. 

On a side note, but related, we carry a great massage bar called "Therapy" for expecting mothers. A massage bar basically is a moisturizer in the solid form...they all have a shea and cocoa butter base. As you rub them on your body, your body heat releases the ingredients onto the skin. "Therapy" helps to reduce stretch marks as well as any scars. It is 100% organic and has lavender, and neroli in it along with some other ingredients.

(Therapy) *Guilty Pleasure as described by Lush* :)

What’s the best product to get for a guy?

- Shave The Planet Gift ($29.95)  - includes Shave the Planet shave cream, Bamboo soap, Cosmetic Lad facial moisturizer, Business Time Massage Bar. There is also a 15% off coupon inside that can be used on your next purchase….these coupons can only be found in the wrapped gifts! There are 4 different shaving creams guys can choose from based on their stubble – Shave The Planet, Razorantium, Prince, and Ambrosia.

- Freeze Shower Gel – the is my husbands personal all time favorite….the only problem is that it is a Retro item which means it is only available online! He requests it all the time to the point I order him two 500ml bottles every time he starts to run low! But it really is fabulous!! It is a really cooling shower gel and I must admit, I love it too!

- Also, Happy Hippy shower gel is another guy favorite as well as one of my husbands favorites…it is very citrusy. It has pink grapefruit, lemons, and limes. I also love it…so it is good for both men and women. Citrus helps take off dead skin cells and brighten the skin tone. You can also use it as a shampoo (makes hair shine)…so great for travel, you only need to bring one bottle and you can wash your hair and body with it! It is available in stores.

Retro Products: can only be found online!! They are products that have been discontinued but brought back by popular demand!

-I love Freeze Shower Gel and Sonic Death Monkey Shower Gel (my husband uses both)

-Ginger Lotion is AMAZING!  My husband loves the smell of it on me but he wouldn’t use it himself.

-Go to www.lush.com for retro info

Enzymiotic cream- when I use it my face smells kind of lotiony and kind of chocalate-ly in a good way. It covers well with makeup so I use it in the morning.

Sympathy for the skin- this winter has been brutal on my skin and for some reason, ever since I had the babe, my skin has been super dry.  Also it’s probably because after 2 days of no heat I have been pumping it to assure that I make up for those 2 days… I use this at night and it really helps my skin feel less dry.

Tea tree toner- its cool and refreshing…It has tea tree in it which is an antibacterial, so it helps prevent and cure break outs. It is also in our spot treatment called "Grease Lightning" which will zap your zit in no time flat...my hubs is in love with it as am I! Toner sets a base for your moisturizer. Your skin is like a sponge and when it is wet, it absorbs everything it comes into contact with. So, when you apply toner followed by moisturizer, your face is able to absorb all the moisturizer and get the most out of it. It also means you have to use less moisturizer at a time and therefore, your moisturizer last longer too! It also helps to tone and brighten the skin as it has juniper berry and grapefruit in it. It is really good for normal to oily skin. The reason your face doesn't feel tight afterward is because there is no alcohol in it, alcohol is really harsh and not good for the skin, and it is very drying.

All skincare regimes should include a cleanser, toner, and moisturizer. I have found if I feel greasy towards the end of the day and don't have time to wash my face and reapply my make up I can spritz my toner on over my make up and I feel less oily in no time!

Are there any tricks you should know?

-Bring in 5 empty and clean black pots to a lush store and you get a FREE fresh facemask!

-Buy 2 massage bars and get 1 free tin to store it in

-Buy 2 solid shampoos and get 1 free tin

 (Seanik Solid Shampoo) (Godiva Solid Shampoo)

-Buy 2 body butters (ex. Buffy) and get 1 free tin

-Sign up at your local store for the lush list email and catalog….you only get one email a month with what is going on in your local store. We have a lot of really really great promotions and events where you can get fab goody bags! The catalog is great and comes out once every season…has all the products in it. You can check off what you want and bring it to the store to make shopping easier!

-Always remember to ask for a sample when you check out if they don’t give you one…if they don’t have any…ask for one of something that interests you. It is a great way to try out a moisturizer, shampoo, conditioner, etc. They have sample pots that they can fill for you with any liquid.

-Ask for the hand treatment….it lets you try all of my 3 favorites (ocean salt, Buffy, dream cream) as well as the famous lemony flutter cuticle butter I mentioned below!! Your hands will feel amazing!

Anything else?

I could go on and on and on about Lush, it is truly a great company and one I am proud to work for.  The products are amazing and work wonders. The hair care and skin care lines are my favorite parts of the store along with the shower gels! I’m not really a bath taker. If you go to your local Lush, they will give you a consultation and recommend products based on your hair and skin types…don’t be afraid to ask! If the person is stupid, ask me and I will be happy to help you or anyone out! (Email us and we’ll pass it along… or post as comment)  our store is ranked #1 in the country for our customer service; we really pride ourselves on our product knowledge.

            Going to a Lush for the first time can be very intimidating…and overwhelming as everything is so different! Look online before you visit and write down a few things you would like to see (do not write down retro products)! It will help you to have a direction…when I first went to a Lush 4 years ago; I started with skin care because I was having problems. Once I got my skin care taken care of, I moved to hair care and from there to well, everything! Also, if you don’t know how something works, ask….we demo everything in the store for you!   Also, you can look on youtube.com and look up Lush product demos…we have videos on there!  While some items may be priced a little high, a little goes a LONG way with all of our products so they will last you! I used Lush for a few years before I worked there and EVEN IF I DIDN’T WORK AT LUSH, I WOULD STILL USE LUSH PRODUCTS!

Snookin' for Wings.

If there’s something with Snooki and hot sauce happening in my city, you know I need to write about it.

The bars opened at 7 am and people were drunk and passing out by 11am. It was 90% dudes and could have been called the Sausage Bowl.

Here’s a non-comprehensive list of things I saw by 3pm.  Keep in mind this was not at the actually Wing Bowl, this was at a bar celebrating it.  And I was working…

1.     Straws in the ladies room toilet.

2.     A guy, late twenties, passed out standing up.  With lots of mardi gras beads

3.     A guy, late forties, passed out on the floor in his own vomit.

4.     Random 30 year olds making out on the dance floor.

5.     Lots of blacked-out wastedness and being escorted out.

I asked some Wing Bowl VIPs who showed up at the bar if they saw Snooki.  They said “yes, we gave her a Philly welcome and boo’ed the shit out of her.”  Typical.  Then I got yelled out for asking about her and told she was a “pig.”  Well guess what??  That "pig" turned down $400k to pose nude in Playboy because she didnt want her family to see her naked.  (WTF???) J-Woww, on the other hand, agreed to $200k.  That’s my girl.

Catch up with Perez on the latest Snooki gossip here.  Philly dramz included. And her new bf pics are up.

You can Snooki-Yourself at MTV.com

And here's how much snow is in Philly.... the Snooki-Meter!

BETTER THAN SMURFS

Last night I finally went to see Avatar.  In 3D.  I don’t know that I can ever see a movie not in 3D again, and I am sure I want to see every 3D movie they showed.  #1 being Alice in Wonderland and #2 How to Train a Dragon.  The second is mostly because I figure that’s a skill I will need to take over the world.

I thought Avatar was amazing and I am pretty sure I lived there with them.  Like to the point where I questioned my own humanity.  So did Dustin.  The graphics were clearly amazing but I was down with   the story line too.  At one point I realized I still knew what was going on and that made me happy.  I felt morally conflicted but in a good way.  I hate long movies and this one made me feel like it was real life and so i was cool with it.  At the end I actually said "Can we do that again?"  It may have destroyed all regular movie watching for me for life.  It was worth it.

I must admit that there was a point when blue dude made a reference to a “situation” and myself and 3 companions bust out into a fit of laughter.

I am pretty sure I want to be: (and I totally get why people fall in love with the blue lady)

I am sure I am in love with:

Facts that support my opinion:

Avatar as been No. 1 at the box office for six consecutive weeks.

It's official: Avatar is the highest-grossing movie ever, with tallies coming in at $1.86 billion.

Avatar became the most expensive movie ever made, at more than $300 million US. 

WEASEL WEDNESDAY: RANDOM WEASEL EDITION

Yay its Wednesday! I am super excited for Sleepover Friday at the Batcave so here's a post created out of my complete glee. (yes, I said GLEE!!!)

F that cheesy movie line. And don’t be offended. But I really enjoyed searching pictures of weasels last week. (see here) And I loved hearing everyone’s stories of messed up stuff guys (or girls) do. So keep them coming if you want me to be happy. So here’s this week’s post:

He’s probably a weasel.

10. If he says "I don't do relationships" then…..

9. If you are dating someone for a while, and when you make it official on Facebook everyone wonders who you are…..

8. If you guys are texting all day about meeting up and that night he tells you he’s with a “new chicky”…..

7. If he just moved into a new apartment, and you find an earring~ he says he found it while unpacking, but the next morning you see the mate by the door….

6. If he takes you to dinner with his mom, and then blows you off the next two days.....

5. If you went with him to buy an engagement ring and wedding set 3 years ago, and he still hasn't given it to you...

4. If he buys you a used exercise bike for Valentine's Day…..

3. If he tells you he was a contestant on the Bachelorette and he's loaded, then you check the Bachelorette website and he is nowhere to be found……….

2. If he asks you to be his girlfriend after you get plastic surgery…..

1. If he sends you home from a night of passion to walk several drunken blocks home....without pants...or underwear……….

...... HE'S PROBABLY A WEASEL.

Thanks to Julie, Ginger, Kys and Tpos for their comments last week…

WEASEL WEDNESDAY #1: BAD ROMANCE EDITION

We all make stupid mistakes when it comes to the opposite sex.

I have officially decided… today is the day to stop.

Its time to stop blaming them and start looking for the signs. Justin Long says it best when he says (S)He’s just not that into you.

And if he’s not who cares.

Let’s call them out on it. If you have a stupid sign you missed, post it as a comment. And for Pete’s sake please put them out there. Otherwise Tuesday Bluesday will turn into Wahh wahh Wednesday. And we don’t want that.

IF:

10. He can’t talk to a girl without flirting with her…

9. If he isn’t telling you he likes you… he’s just not that into you. (or even if he is)

8. If you find out he is dirty texting your friends the same thing he’s dirty texting you….

7. You find yourself in a room with his ex girlfriend and a girl he is seeing but didn’t know about…

6. If he is sleeping with other people….

5. If he dates you for over 3 months and still doesn’t “officially” call you his girlfriend….

4. He sleeps with his ex girlfriend less than 24 hours after sleeping with you…

3. If given the chance between you and a stripper, he chooses the stripper…

2. He sleeps with your best friend while you are all in the room together…

1. He says your theme song is Bad Romance…

HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.

Hugs and happiness.

Is it normal this list reminds me of purple leopard print? Maybe its my inner teen rawring out.