Showing posts with label creepy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label creepy. Show all posts

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Sometimes your neighbors fight.

Once upon a time, I heard my neighbors fighting….
So I was awakened a couple times tonight to hear my neighbor and a lady. First talking then dancing and then to hear her tearing him apart. She said that he was fat and over weight, she would never f**k him because he could barely move, ripped into him about his cat being fat, also something about him being too agreeable. I'm thinking this whole time, if u feel this way about him why did u go home with him and stay @ his house to 4:30 in the am? THEN as I'm thinking he needs to smack this b***h I hear her fall down his stairs and he's like “you ok?” Small “yes.” Then its quiet, I'm secretly hoping she broke her leg, he cut off her air supply and is digging a shallow grave in the basement for this evil woman. Then she leaves and he yells down the road "get out b***h."
So you think that's the end? F*** no. He gets a call and I hear him say to come back.  He goes outside and he's directing her back. I of course jump from my bed because I got to see this train wreck.  She is dressed in dark form fitting cloths, heeled boots I'm guessing, and dark hair shoulder length and thin. She grabs whatever she forgot from him ( a book I believe) and leaves. My neighbor calls to her to get home safe and text him when she arrives. Then I guess he throws a bottle towards the recycling or in her direction, whichever it was she storms back saying your going to throw a bottle at a woman?? Then I heard something about wanting to fight him. Then how she doesn't have time. (hahaha) And he's like I don't know what your talking about. She turns to leave again. And he calls out to walk home safe, text me, I wish you well, I wanna kiss you, I wanna kiss your stomach, I wish you well, b***h! I was loving how he stayed true to his nice roots, really wished he would of called her a G. D. Skank in the midst because her mouth was that trashy. Who needs a TV if you live in this neighborhood? 

Monday, February 15, 2010

Happy Anti-Valentine's Day Y'all


Happy
Anti- Valentine’s Day
XOX

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Bitter Musings and Mockeries


Here are some great ideas for (Anti) Valentine’s Day.  At least in my opinion.  Which is the one the matters most.

1. Toilet noise blocker.  I don’t think this makes a lot of sense but I like it anyway.  “…makes the noise of a toilet flushing to hide the other noises you might be making. Press the button twice and the sound of flushing lasts for 25 seconds. This little device means you won't have to flush for real and thus saves water.”





3. Bittersweets®. I will never look at Candy hearts the same way again.  And I love them.  But these make me laugh.  Bahahahahaha… another great idea.


Definitely geared at the bitter and distraught…  “For most, there is no crueler day of the calendar year than that of Valentine's Day. While a tiny fraction of the population can look forward to a holiday of wine and roses, poetry and song, the vast majority of us can anticipate a day of nausea and grimacing, trauma and grief. A day in which minutes seem like hours, and hours like days, as we reflect sorrowfully on yesteryear's romantic indignities, today's loneliness, and the unknowable but certain heartbreak that will be visited upon us repeatedly in the years to come.”

"Unlike other candy hearts, ours are stamped with bitter musings and mockeries perfectly suited to the dejected spirits of those who will spend the holiday alone, or wishing they were."

You can shoose your own collection, I like dejected or dysfunctional.


"Dejected" sayings include:
I MISS MY EX* PEAKED AT 17* TABLE FOR 1*
I CRY ON Q* U C MY BLOG? * A FINE WHINE*
MOMMY ISSUES * DIGNITY FREE * DORK MAGNET * PURE NAUSEA
WE HAD PLANS* SETTLE 4LESS* I'M HOT INSIDE

"Dysfunctional" sayings include:
I BEEN CREEPIN *P.S. I LUV ME * DO MY DISHES* BOOTY INFL8N
PAROLE IS UP! *AWFUL INLAWS * I WANT HALF*
NO FIX 4 DUMB* RATHER DRINK * MUTUAL DISGUST

Available in six different flavors, including: Banana Chalk, Grape Dust, Nappy-Citric, You-Call-This-Lime?, Pink Sand and Fossilized Antacid.


5. Beer gloss.  “The Valentine’s Day gift that makes her happy, and makes you happy too.”

Funniest singles event I have seen yet:  Sleep-Mate date Night.  
Held at Ikea and sponsored by a bunch of liquor companies (go figure) and encourages singles to meet up in bed and try out mattresses.  So disgusting, but so funny.




 Bats and caves.  xox, US

Monday, February 8, 2010

My Body's a Zombie for You

This made Music Monday cheerful and pleasant. No, really, I love this. I don't fully get it,  but it looks like a childrens' book I would write. And then never show my kids because thats
just creepy. See G... one of my faves... and of 
Zillah the Slutface Killah who drank too much gin.... Hmmmmmm.....
Check out the guy, 
Jon who made it here at his 
And check out more of 
Ryan Goseling's Band: 
Last but not least, don't forget to score your 
free downloads from UO's blog!!!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

DOPPLEGANGER WEEK

Doppelgangers are so January 2010. So it looks like its Doppleganger Week in Facebook world.  The most popular trend in Facebooking since changing your status to your bra color. This was a status update phenom created to support Breast Cancer awareness.  We decided we didn't want to waste a perfectly good profile picture of ourselves with a celebrity one.  So here we are sharing our Celebrity Dopplegangers for you at The Batcave.  You can find your own by uploading a photo of yourself at www.myheritage.com.  The Doppleganger Theory is the thought that somewhere in the world someone exists who looks exactly like you.  In medieval times Dopplegangers were some sort of evil spirit that replicated the looks and actions of a person who was in danger of death.  Creepy.