HAIR UPDATE

All is good in the world. My hair is looking more like salon hair than purple, my little pony hair. I will not say that I am an at home bathroom beutician advocate by any means, but if you must resort to this, it will all be okay. The color all worked out in the end. The only problem is that I was recently sunburned on my scalp, and now a week later it is peeling off in flakes. This combined with my newly darkened locks, is definitely a problem. It looks as if I have an intense dandruff problem with no sign of improvement. This was the couch conversation with my husband last night...

Husband: "What are you doing to your head?"

Me: "My scalp is peeling. I'm just getting the dead skin off."

Husband : "Eww. That's gross. Stop."

Me: "Look at it. Is it that bad?"

Husband : "Have you ever seen those boxed mashed potato flakes? It's like that."

Me: "OH MY GOD!!! Shit."

He was right. And there seems to be an endless supply of potato flakes. But I can't put lotion on my scalp, because then I will look like a greasy haired freak. I have accepted my dandruff. And these are the days of our lives.

Holy haberdashery, Batman!

I love waking up after a night of drinking til my face hurts and reading through my text messages. Its the best. Here's my fave from last night "fat people wear mediums." Don't be offended we are just bitches. And if you saw the person I was texting this with, you would probably tell us both to eat a cheeseburger, or at least a bagel with cream cheese. I also said some pretty bold and funny stuff to people that I never would say sober. Loves it. And of course the few obligatory "I love you" messages to all my fabulous girl friends. This gets better... there is nothing like waking up naked in your bed with no idea how you got there. What made it so much better was the not one but 2 trails of clothes I left behind. Batman tee shirt, black shorts, rain boots. Everyone was amazed at how smart I was last night when the monsoon hit. Little did they know this revelation came when the first storm hit and I was left on the street corner across from my house in a white tee flicking off the people who didn't let me run across the street and save me from being the frontrunner in a wet t-shirt contest. All in all, last night was a success.

MY RIDICULOUS MUST HAVES OF THE WEEK

A regular past time of ours is torturing ourselves by wish-list shopping online.  It makes us happy and brings anxiety at the same time.  I cannot afford any of this right now, but I can't help but look at it every single day.  Below is a list of Kelly's ridiculous must haves of the week (in no particular order).  Oh, how they make me smile :)

ASOS Tiered Net Prom Skirt $55.00

      Wifey T- Metro Park $34.00

Leather Hooded Jacket- Metro Park $329.00

Scarlett Ruffle Booties- Bakers Shoes $99.95 (Yes, we want them in both colors)

So today I am attempting to dye my hair for the first time out of a box. These recession days have driven me to this against my will. I have and always will be a self proclaimed salon snob. I am not ashamed to admit it. It almost makes me feel sad that I have resorted to boxed hair color. I blame all of this on former President Bush. I hate you. I am extremely scared that I will end up with purple, dry, fried hair. I am entrusting my mom with this task in about 2 hours, all with extreme pressure to make it perfect. I have a big night out on the town tonight and an absurd amount of picture taking is definite. Wish me luck world. I will keep you updated.

MY WORST NIGHTMARE

SALON HAIR FOR SURE

Just a little note to everyone out in Facebook world. Please do not ever make your status, "Bloated and cramping. What a way to start the weekend." Okay, do you know how many people are reading this, and how many of us don't want to know that you are full of gas and cramping due to your menstrual cycle. That will get you a one way ticket to FB friend deletion. No one wants to know about your bodily functions. Ever.

Someone recently said to me: “I could drive by you standing on the corner with sparklers in your hand, wearing a shower curtain and a tutu and it wouldn’t weird me out. I would smile and keep on driving.” I responded, “No you would pick me up and ask if I wanted to go get drinks or something. And P.S. I freaking love sparklers.” The weirdest part s I love sparklers, and I love tutus, go figure. This person must know me pretty well. Well, I have a great tutu topic to discuss. I have officially decided on my Britney Spears concert outfit. It’s amazing, as it should be. It is so super sparkly happy that it outweighs all the evil and mean-ness in the world. Well, at least for the day. Looking forward to it. xox

P.S. If you do not see me in this at the concert, expect to see me in it at your kids next birthday party, business meeting, etc.

LUCIAN VS MARTIAN

Tonight I met this guy named Lucian. He was kind of cute but could have been my little brother. Anyway he said "hey, I'm Lucian." I was like "oh like martian, but Lucian." He said.... well I have never heard that before but I guess so. It all made sense to me.

BATCAVE

For those of you who know us, the Batcave is our favorite place to hang out. Here's a little insight...

The Batcave was a nightclub in London, England at Meard Street, Soho. It is considered to be the birthplace of the English goth subculture. As one of the most famous meeting points for early goths, it lent its name to the term Batcaver, used to describe fans of the original gothic rock music. The term Batcave is also still used by Europeans to refer to Gothic music with a prominent Post-Punk sound and spooky atmospheres.

The club opened in July 1982. Originally specialising in New Wave and Glam rock, it later focused on Gothic rock. Famous regulars at the Batcave included legends such as Robert Smith, Siouxsie Sioux, Steve Severin, Foetus, Marc Almond and Nick Cave. Much of the image and fashion used by the subculture can be traced back to the bands who played at the Batcave.

“For some the Batcave has become an icon, but for those that know it is an iconoclast, it is the avenging spirit of nightlife's badlands - its shadow looms large over London's demi-Monde: It is a challenge to the false Idol. It Will Endure."

Thanks wikipedia.

I would also like to give a special shout out the The Austin Batcave. They are always looking for volunteers to help children expand their creativity. J Check out the link below….

http://austinbatcave.org/The_Austin_Bat_Cave/About.html

LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS. BLAIR SAYS SO.

I want to discuss something that upset me. Lindsanity was a guest judge on project Runway. Which by the way has gone downhill since leaving Bravo. She is ridiculous. I love mean girls as much as the next person but she has gone downhill from there. Now I just picture her as the nubbin stripper from I Know Who Killed Me. Apparently she is regarded as some sort of “designer” now because she makes leggings. This I find hilarious. She has leggings with kneepads. What do you need leggings with kneepads for. Only Lindsey really knows (and the rest of us.) I loved reading some of these comments from readers on Lohan Groupie.com (I googled the leggings friends, I am not a real groupie). I have included some of my faves:

“These leggings arent just leggings! They make you feel sexy and rich…”

- So do the ones from Forever21. Because then I still have enough money left over to go buy and beer, and not have to accept one from the old dude who is staring at my ass in my $7.80 leggings.

“And I think You are doing just great, You don’t need to go back to rehab, just get a better grip on love, and life, and some little on reality, but without losing the goal of your dreams.
GOD Bless You Always, Lindsay D Lohan, I Love You Always, me, Larry T Robinson O.R. Tn.”

- Wtf Larry T Robinson O.R. Tn

“The fact that she called her line of leggings “6126″, Marilyn Monroe’s birthday, is an insult to Marilyn. I mean using her birthday as the brand name is cool but not for leggings!!! I could understand if it was for like vintage looking dresses or purses but LEGGINGS??? That is a complete waste of a brand name. Marilyn never would have worn leggings If it were like seamed stockings or thigh highs or something then yeah but not freakin leggings. The leggings aren’t even cute… and they’re overpriced! Ughh, Shes so stupid… Shes trying to be like the new marilyn or something…Its not working!! The only girls who can pull that off are girls who wear like vintage clothes & makeup…Lindsay is too modern to pull that look off…”

- This from some teeny bopper with an attitude. Loves it.

CATCH ME FROM MY GOOD SIDE. PICK ONE.

I love that I have so much work to do today and all I can think about is Britney Spears. Not only about Britney herself, but about all I have/ need to do to get ready for the ultimate event which is... her concert. A whole new reason for 25-30 year old girls the relentlessly text each other and post quotes from Britney Spears lyrics. I mean I do that anyway. I mean really, its so relevant. I have been mentally planning my outfit all day. I blocked out an entire Sunday. Sad but true. And I love it. I love all of the cheesy pink glitterness that is Britney and her breakdown turned comeback. This is life. Life sponsored by Coors Light.

On another Britney note. Heidi Montag is the worst person ever. Besides one other person (you know who you are). She looks like she is wearing a diaper. What a slutty whore.

SALAD ANYONE?

Just a little peek into something Jamie and Kelly enjoy from time to time. His name.... is Salad Fingers.

Our Blog is Born

Happy Birthday Blog! It is official. Jamie and Kelly gave birth to this wonderful little page today. We celebrated with a full day of Skyping, which closes our 2,000 mile gap within seconds. We then proceeded to start our celebratory wine drinking at 11:50 am Central time, and have yet to end the festivities. Cheers! You may be thinking to yourself, "what in the hell will I see in this blog of theirs?" Well let us just tell you...there is no way of knowing. As you may have read, we love bats, beer, babies, bacon, wine, cheese, trees, and buying things. So it goes without saying that these will be some of our main topics of conversation. Stay tuned America! There will be many thrilling misadventures to come.